Hiding Under that New Yorker Facade: Suburbanites.

We had an OB appointment this week where we actually got to hear the results of the ultrasound from the previous week. Happy to report our baby girl is doing in fine in there, just a little bit on the small side. I was told that was okay and too be expected since, "You're probably only 5 feet yourself, right?" I corrected the doctor, proudly telling her that no, I'm actually 5 foot 2. She laughed and said, "Maybe with hairspray." So, an OB with a sense of humor and good news for us - I am relieved all around.

Meanwhile, the other crazy thing that was happening this last month is that we were on a sudden and serious house hunt. It is now official - we are moving out of the city...and pretty soon.

A handful of times now I've been asked, "Do you think you gave Toronto enough of a chance though?" I've only been working in the city since September and we've only lived there since late January, not a lot of time at all, so I understand the question. But I think its the wrong question. Its not that we didn't give Toronto a chance, I think its more that it just doesn't fit our situation given our wish for more space, the location of our jobs, a need for a shorter commute with less traffic (we'll have a baby to get home to!), a want for more options for daycare (i.e. where you don't need to sign up at the moment of conception), and a strong feeling that closer proximity to our only babysitters (thanks in advance, parents!) would be ideal...It was getting harder to justify why it was that we needed to be living in Toronto.

But thats not all of it. The other thing is that it turns out we outgrew city living awhile ago. When we moved from Princeton to New York, I was devastated. And then a strange thing started to happen - I started liking the suburbs. Yes, I hated the commute and all that comes with it but I soon found that working & playing in the city while living in the 'burbs was actually a pretty sweet deal. It was like maintaining my same life but with more room and privacy when inside my own four walls. And while it definitely was a hike to get in and our of New York on weekends, I don't think there was a single event, happy hour, or girls dinner that I missed just because we didn't live downtown anymore. So in thinking about moving out of Toronto, I know it will be the same. Especially given that its SO much more accessible from Oakville than New York is from Princeton! Like, times a bajillion.

 Sean and some great New York friends

There's also that, while I have not at all been in and around Toronto for much time at all, its just not New York. The more time that I'm away from my old home, the more I realize just how much I absolutely loved it and how much it felt like my city.

So I asked myself, given how much I loved it, would I choose it over the suburbs if the situation was the same but we were still living in the NJ/NY area? Well, if you ask me in the early hours of day 1 of a visit there, the answer is definitely yes. But by the end of our trip, the answer is always definitely no. Adult city life is just not for me. As cool as it would be to say, and as much of a sense of entitlement I would get from it, I am just not a lifer when it comes to New York.

That in and of itself is truly why it doesn't matter whether we did or did not give Toronto enough of a chance. Because if I can't picture our life long-term in New York, I certainly am not willing to make sacrifices for any other city! Especially not a city that I don't feel so strongly connected to. With New York the feeling that we fit together was instantaneous. Even as a kid, I was simultaneously terrified by the chaos of it all and enamored with the possibilities that living there could bring. And now after spending 6 years there, I love so very much about it that its hard to put into words.

I love how each area of New York has its own feel, some more personal than others. Like for me, 5th Ave will always be where we spent time with my parents, living a totally different kind of New York life than we did normally (check out the view from lunch at Bergdorfs, for example)

Its not that Toronto too doesnt have its charms, it definitely does. For example, as much as New York is a city filled with people originally from somewhere else, Toronto feels so much more authentically multicultural and I absolutely love that. Then theres the cool neighbourhoods and the possibility of living in an actual house with several floors and multiple bedrooms right in the middle of the city. But I'll let our friends love all of that and more so that we always have people to hang out with in the city and an excuse to be there often :)

Maybe I won't feel this way forever but right now I'm completely content knowing that I'll be raising my little girl in the suburbs while making frequent trips to the city. She's going to know Toronto and what a city is all about, I'll make sure of that, but the 'burbs is where we will lay our heads.

Ha, what timing: was just pressing Publish on this post when Sean sighed loudly and said, "Ah, will you look at that" - he's watching the Yankee game and they just showed an aerial shot of beautiful New York. I hear ya bud, I hear ya.