Apparently I wrote two posts on February 15th and didn't publish either of them!... no idea what the hold up on publishing this one was.
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Lately I've been feeling a little restless.
For years and years Sean and I always had something going on, something on the go, something in the works, something to look forward to. For example, this time last year we were gearing up for a March full of travel - one weekend we were in Montreal for a cousins weekend, the next we were in Jamaica for a wedding, and the weekend after that we were in Allentown to surprise George for his 70th birthday. It was non-stop.
And although I have to admit that a month of jam-packed travel weekends did start to be a bit much, its been hard to be SO on the opposite end of the spectrum lately.
What I didn't expect is that its not actually having a baby that's slowed us down, its more Sean's job. The idea is that his hard work now will hopefully afford us much more vacation and freedom later on...but its often hard for me to keep long-term gains in mind.
I guess I feel unsettled by the fact that on the surface it looks like this: we had a baby, our life stopped. And thats just so not what its been like. So it almost makes me want to prove something to I dont know who exactly. So much so that when Arie & Al had to cancel their overnight stay with us at the last minute, I almost booked a flight to Montreal and back for today. Yes, I'm eager to meet my newest nephew Noah and hang out with my favourite little dude Zac so that definitely played a role too. But I think its this restless feeling brewing inside me that really had me almost pulling the trigger on an insane plan that involved two flights in one day and a tiny 4 hours in Montreal (at best).
Sean talked me down, thankfully. And I have to say, I'm so happy he did. It turns out a long weekend at home, no travel, no plans (besides an extraordinarily fun afternoon and evening with friends over last night) feels ahhhhhhhhmazing. Sean, Lola, Charlie and I just hung out all day. Coming off a rough night with Lola, it was incredible to sleep in until 9, stay in sweats all day, pick at leftovers in the fridge instead of cooking, and just enjoy one another's company.
In the end we Skyped with the Selim clan in Montreal and although its definitely not like the real thing, it felt good nonetheless. I still plan on seeing the fam sometime soon but I'm trying to be more sensible about it - maybe we'll go for 2 days and 1 night rather than trying to get there and back all within a single day. And I have a weekend in Nashville coming up at the beginning of May so its not like theres noting on the radar!
Although its not having Lola thats entirely derailed our typical crazy traveling inclinations, I do have to admit that she does play a role. Its no longer worth it to me to take time away from her more than I already do. And if I tired myself out traveling on the weekend, I don't want to be exhausted playing catch up during the week. I want to be rested and present when I get home at the end of the day. She deserves that.
So yes, life is different now. We won't be exploring any new countries soon or planning an elaborate trip to somewhere new and exciting. But I know that this is not a forever state of affairs. We'll get back to that one day.
For now, I'm just going to try to relish the relaxing weekends at home. After all, we have no shortage of incredible worldly adventures to look back on and enjoy retrospectively. We truly have been blessed with some amazing experiences that I can't wait to tell Lola all about them :)
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